Passions

An Open Letter to the Shore Kids

By aliciacook86  |  Posted November 3, 2012  |  Toms River, New Jersey

I don’t grieve often, I don’t weep over the little things, but my heart aches tonight. With all the news surrounding Hurricane Sandy, this open letter is geared towards a specific group of human beings. This letter goes out to the kids who surfed under Casino Pier twelve months out of the year. This letter goes out to the kids who frequented the beaches in the winter just as much as they did in the summer, not for the tan, but for the feeling it gave them. This letter goes to the kids who turned a beach block into their own personal world as soon as the sun set. This letter goes to the kids who met lifelong friends at a renovated old garage arcade. This letter goes out to the kids who sat in their beach chairs the minute the forecast broke 60 degrees. This letter goes out to the kids who were pushed out of the good parking spots the minute Memorial Day Weekend hits. This letter goes out to the kids who have “beach feet.” This letter goes to the kids who get their food, money, and gas at WaWa. This letter goes out to the kids who still go to “Steaks” at 4am on a Saturday in April. This letter goes out to the kids who experienced “Teen Night” at Joey Harrison’s Surf Club. This letter goes out to the kids who drive on the streets while the traffic lights still blink yellow and the “One Way” signs aren’t yet in their place. This letter goes out to the kids who played beer pong on their parent’s white carpet. This letter goes out to the kids who knownot to feed the damn seagulls. This letter goes to the kids who drive to the ocean when they are having a bad day. This letter goes out to the blue eyed arcade attendants, badge checkers, and ice cream scoopers. This letter goes out to the kids who never cared about the sand in their sheets.

This letter goes out to exit 82. This letter goes out to the locals.

I am not the first or the last person to comment on how, in mere hours, many of us lost our childhood to rain and winds and, ironically, the one thing we loved the most: the ocean. The traditional definition of a “skyline” is usually synonymous to a busy urban city like New York or Philadelphia, but we locals had a skyline too. And this past weekend, that skyline was forever changed.

The ocean and bay have swallowed up everything, demolishing the boards where we have carved our initials. The boards we road our bikes on. Sitting on Ortley Beach, staring at the ocean, and looking to the right we always saw the same thing: our skyline. Our childhood. Our adolescence. We saw the silhouette of the Jet Star rollercoaster sitting almost magically over the Atlantic Ocean. We saw the Ferris wheel and its changing colors. If the ocean wasn’t too loud that day, you may hear the rise and fall of laughter. All that is gone now.

I don’t want to get too anecdotal, but I remember 7 years ago my best friend and I brought my younger brother and his friend to the boardwalk. Their reaction that night is forever seared into my heart and mind. It captured the innocence of a shore kid. This trip to the boardwalk was different from all of the other countless trips I took. I was with two young kids who never were on the boardwalk without adult supervision and at night. The freedom they felt that night…the light in their eyes…if I could have bottled it up, it would have lit up the entire city just the other day. They were only ten minutes from home, but a world away.

Now, what I find most saddening about this life altering event is just that: it’s life altering. The day will come when I have children of my own and I will not be able to walk them around Casino Pier and say, “Mommy went on this ride,” like my parents relentlessly told me and my siblings. My parents, my father especially, were able to pull out old photographs and match them up to their present day setting. My father put me on the same carousel horse he sat on when he was a kid. Any human being can find comfort in that. In knowing that though everything in life changes…in certain moments…nothing in life can change too.

Our generation will not be able to connect with our children like that, and that is very unfortunate. I will not be able to drive around the shore town and point out most of the landmarks that have shaped me into the young adult I am today. I am positive our children will have a beach, and a local hangout-which may or may not be an arcade…and I am positive our children will be able to experience a boardwalk with rides and games and first kisses. I am even more positive though, that it will just not be the same in our hearts.

Like I said, our skyline has changed forever. The gazebo is gone. The gazebo, which was a town landmark and late night teenage hang out, located at the entrance of the beach and a centimeter from the dunes that had been “adopted” by some affluent family in 1992. All gone. The block we just called “3rd” is gone. A block that gave so many kids their first taste of freedom and their first taste of alcohol. The block where so many young people fell in love over and over again.

Now don’t get me wrong, we would pump our own gas before we gave up rebuilding something so many true New Jerseyans believe in. We are resilient. As a race, humans are born to survive – to face true devastation and grow. It will be rebuilt; all of it, but it won’t be the same. It will be new and shiny, just waiting for the next generation of locals to carve their initials into it and make it their own.

Here’s to the future, while remembering the past,

Alicia Cook

 

Be the best you: 15 small everyday things to make yourself a better you

October 11, 2012

1.) Smile more.  Be conscious of your facial expressions when passing people.  Smile to the people you cross by, encounter with or meet throughout the day.  People go through so many different things and have to still go about their day.  You will never know how much a smile can change a person’s day.

2.) Do 100 crunches each night before you go to bed.

3.) Don’t waste your minutes.  When waiting for a bus, walking to class/car/store/work, waiting in line etc; use your time wisely.  Think of all the time you spend waiting walking and sitting.  Instead of just “wasting” these minutes, make them count.  Call a friend you haven’t talked to in a while, email an aunt you haven’t talked to in a while, text a “I’m thinking about you” text to someone who has been having a rough couple days.  Whatever, wherever it doesn’t matter.  Just know there are so many minutes where you can do so many things that you say you don’t have time for.

4.) BLOG.  I am telling you it helps.  Share your feelings, ideas and interests for everyone out there or just for you to read later.

5.) Interact more with people.  When buying a coffee ask how the cashier’s day is or what their favorite coffee is.  Walk into a room and ask everyone how they are. You never know the interesting people you may meet and hey it never hurts to be friendly, it definitely can brighten up someone’s day.

6.) Eat breakfast each day at the kitchen table with your roommates/ family if applicable.  I’m sure you can agree mornings are never fun.  Nobody likes waking up early out of their warm comfortable bed.  Sour pusses on your face, half groggy aurora and no conversation is how most start their day.  If you think about it, why start a day in that way?  If you start it that way you are going to be like that for a while and that affects you and the people around you and your relationships.  So, instead wake up 15 minutes early (yes I know that does not seem to help the problem) and sit down at the table and eat a healthy breakfast.  Not only is it important to eat a big healthy breakfast it is nice to start off with good company, some laughs and now a positive outlook.  You will not even notice those 15 extra minutes after a while because your day will start off that much better.

7.) Set time aside for you.  If you were take a look at my planner it is post-its on post-its on post-its.  Between class, the gym, volunteering and studying it seems as if there is never a block in my schedule for me time or for what I want to do.  I know allow myself an hour or two a day (during the school year) to just sit around with my friends and roommates and just unwind from the day.  Knowing I will have a break to just sit back and laugh (gossip) with my friends makes the day go by a lot more smoothly without me sitting in the library all night stressed and anxious.

8.) SING SING AND SING.  Rock out in the car, sing in the shower, scream on the top of your lungs with your girlfriends the newest TSwift song (I don’t care that I’m 21 Taylor will forever always write songs that seems to just exactly fit me, minus the crazy stalker ones of course).  Singing is just pure joy and stress free.  I should of course add dance to this also.  Just Dance is my roommates and mine new obsession. (As well as all of our friends and guy friends who always come in to play).

9.) Eat a piece of chocolate.  3-4 M&Ms a day will take away your cravings while still being healthy.

10.) Don’t always be in a rush.  If you are constantly running from one place to the next you will never get to appreciate where you are right then and there.  It is okay to say no to things ( I know that’s a foreign concept for me too, but you CAN do it) so your day has some ease.  While living in Spain I noticed everyone just walked around as if they had all the time in the world.  It was nice to see people just appreciate the day and know that they will get everything done they need too.  Of course I am not saying don’t do things just don’t plan every minute.  If you enjoy where you are at the moment, stay a little longer.  Your planner isn’t stone.

11.)  Get dressed each day.  Being in sweats and Uggs each day puts you in a slump.  When you are showered, make-up on, accessorized and wearing a cute little outfit you feel better about your self and have a better day.

12.)  Walk into a room with your chin up, shoulders back and with confidence.  Make eye contact with everyone you talk to.

13.) When you get home from each day, organize yourself.

14.) Learn a new word each day.  Either in another language or from a thesaurus.  Educating yourself each day is like nothing else.

AND NOW THE BIGGEST OF THEM ALL….

15.) Go out of your way to do one extra nice deed a day.  For example, if you see someone drop their towel on the elliptical across the room go over and pick it up.  You notice it in your mind, but instead of just registering the problem go over there and make it an action.  Something as simple as that goes a long way.  Anywhere from buying the person’s lunch behind you to throwing away people’s garbage.  Little things you do everyday that you don’t even think about would so be noticed if you do them for someone else.

If we all truly followed each of these 15 steps, we would all be a lot happier which makes others happier and so on and so forth.  See, who ever said one person can’t make a difference!

LEARNING A LANGUAGE IS TOUGH- CUT SOME SLACK.

October 1, 2012

I have heard time and time again how pissed off people get when they hear people “living” in America speaking another language.  Well this pisses me off to some extent.   Yes, I know that America’s national language is English and yes I firmly believe it should stay this way.  My dad and all his family had to move here from Italy and learn English the hard way.  They didn’t have McDonalds signs in Italian for them, they actually had nobody cut them any slack in not knowing their new homes language.  Yet, they worked hard day in and day out to learn the language perfectly because after-all they made the choice to move here to better their life, so they should speak the language of their new home.  I believe that is so important and should remain the way of our country.  However, when I tell you how hard it is to learn a new language when everyone around you speaks it perfectly… it is not only so tough but incredibly intimidating also.

When I was in Spain, I started my four months there SUCKING at Spanish and the funny thing is I thought I was good before I lived there.   Yet, even though I was improving significantly, it was stil so hard for me to speak to people that were native Spanish speakers.  I knew what I had to say but somehow I either screwed it up or got it out wrong.  It is damn right intimidating.  And let me tell you I actually throughly enjoy giving public speeches and talking to everyone around me but it is still so hard because you know that what is coming out of your mouth sounds so funny and it is hard to always get things not right.

For MOST AND I REPEAT MOST, Mexicans or Latin Americans who moved here, this is the case.  If I could just tell you how much they truly want to learn and know everything, it is so enlightening.  They come to these English classes after working low paying all day jobs to just learn and learn.  I teach one of these classes and if I could just explain to how much they ask questions and genuinely just want to know and learn it is so refreshing and I wish so many people could see it to take away from their stereotypes.  It is so frustrating to see people just call Mexicans stupid and dumb because they can’t read or talk or understand well.  Well, how about you go to their country and try it out.  I was in their shoes and I’ll tell you it never was more of a worse feeling of feeling stupid, because that is what I felt.  I was lucky enough for most people that I met while abroad being so nice and helpful that they understood that I in fact was not dumb that I am learning.  I wish more people here were like that, because we all know if a lot of Americans were to vacation in a Spanish speaking tropical location they damn well would only speak English and expect people there to also.  So how does that work?  Yes, I know these Spanish speakers are moving to America so it is different then vacationing, but shouldn’t we proud of our country and where we live that so many people want to move here to better their lives and live where there are so many great opportunities and freedom.  I feel blessed to live where I live and I think everyone should be able to live where they think will fit them and make them be the best they can be.  Cause remember, go back 1, 2 or 3 generations ago, and those family members most likely were not in the USA.  So if all these immigrants are moving here like your ancestors did, LEGALLY and with an open mind, let’s all please, please please cut them some slack.  Remember that they are NOT dumb.  In fact, they are learning another language, made the biggest boldest move of more than most people’s lives and are in a new country leaving so much behind.  

América es la tierra de tanta libertad y oportunidades, así que vamos adarnos la bienvenida a aquellos que no admiran los evitan.

They give me inspiration these people I tutor in English.  Let us not remember our roots, or what our ancestors had to go through.  Embrace the diversity and accept all.